This program shows graphic genital exam of Rene by Dr

This program shows graphic genital exam of Rene by Dr. Raphael and some live surgical procedures. Plus, this is just my review and assessment, it may not be yours. - Nick

In the beginning, Rene was obsessed with having a 'big dick' wishing to have a phalloplasty, feeling the dick makes the man and certain it would function and have feeling, just like the real thing. He received an awakening I saw coming and had verbally spoke out to the television several times telling Rene he was not being realistic. But towards the middle, he started to understand that no surgery is perfect, especially a phalloplasty! He opted, thankfully, for Raphael's Centurion.

The film shows Rene surfing websites for surgery photos, the T-Male was shown, albeit briefly.

Please note: not all Transmen feel or exhibits behaviors as Rene does in this film: re: anger, depression, resentment, hostility, machismo, verbal heightened passion about his situation, with varied emotional and verbal abusiveness and marked aloofness towards his wife and her needs, ect... but many will identify with his struggles and how he approaches life, his wife and family.

I am not the only person to be taken aback by Rene and feel he was not the best person to be filmed for this program but didn't se the abuse I did. Comments about this program sent to me are below after my review.

Rene exhibits the above attributes well into his transition, when many feel this way prior to starting hormones. His emotional outbursts are real, raw, loud and often unnerving. But there were some positive changes being made about how he views his wife towards the end.

Even after a second, more objective viewing, I still cannot access whether his over the top machismo is due to his being born female and trying to prove he's male, because of his Latin heritage, which many, not all, Latino men are very macho and dominant by nature/nurture, or if it's because he's such a small man which makes him push his masculinity on people that much more.

It helped that he gets to know an FTM by the name of Clay in Texas and his wife, in the film and was a witness to Clay's Centurion Metoidioplasty by Raphael in the operating room. I think this helped Rene come down to earth about the real possibilities of surgery. And I hope Clay's attentiveness and kindness to his wife made an additional impression. He saw surgeon Futrell, during an consult, his main focus being the big dick thing again. Futrell was real regarding penis function and feeling pointing out that feeling was not as great as Rene had hoped. But Jameson Green really drove home this point when Rene met with him and several FTM's in various stage of transition, explaining that a phall0plasty was basically a lump of insensate skin, which is generally made very large to allow some of the phallus to die so there is still something to work with when repaired. He also got to know one of the men who was not using hormones and seemed to feel like having a dick made him a man and 'called' Rene on the matter.

The family is portrayed well, with honesty abounding which is often negative at times but well within the boundaries of how many families feel. He has more support than many but isn't too aware of this as his needs seem to overshadow theirs.

In the second viewing I did change my positive perception about the family to a more negative one. I noted in the second viewing that Rene was traumatized 2 times as a teen when he started his deception regarding telling his teenage girlfriends he was male and not letting them know who they were really experimenting with sex with. His family had quite enough, namely his mother and older brother Jimmy and decided to force the issue. A girlfriend named Kim found out after the mother and brother brought Rene to her house and told Rene to tell Kim he was born female and Rene refused. The mother and brother then held Rene down and showed Kim that Rene had breasts. The second event was with girlfriend Tara, who was 13 or 14 at the time. Rene's mother called Tara's mother and told her Rene was female. Tara, now an adult, states in the film that she had no idea but Rene, ever in denial to himself, justifies this stating that they had to have known because she could feel his bound chest. But Tara states that Rene told her that he was born with more female hormones than male and that's why he had to bind. I don't agree with how they went about this, in fact it was cruel and reprehensible behavior, damaging to Rene psychologically but I agree with them that Rene's lies were wrong and he should have been straight with the girls.

He emphasizes strongly, verbally to his wife's Mother, away from Wona's presence that his surgery (lower) means more to him than she does.

I noted that all the females in Rene's life, all of them, kowtow to him; back down and become very passive when he becomes loud and pushy. Fear? Not sure but probably. James Green makes an excellent point in the following panel discussion that women have an innate fear of men, though I am paraphrasing James, which is very true. Wona's Mother shouldn't have allowed Rene to talk to her that way about her child but she agreed with Rene, it seemed, to avoid any further outbursts from Rene. Even though the guy is tiny, he's very intimidating, quite muscular from working out and uses these to his advantage often.

His wife has gone more than the extra mile to support Rene (12 years) with little being returned by Rene in the film and even after the second viewing I still feel this way. Even in the panel discussion afterward, the moderator stated that when he showed the film to Rene, Rene acknowledged that he didn't realize he treated Wona so badly. Wona is shown with tears welling up, flowing down her cheeks or her shutting off emotionally as a defense against her situation more than she is shown smiling or happy. Her honest feelings about their situation are not well received by Rene and I don't recall him ever trying to console her or listen to her other than when he was in front of strangers, such as the new congregation at the GLBT church they started going to, where she sat in the pew head down, crying silently. When he was sitting next to her in the pew, she was still meek and head down yet he never reached to offer a hand or an arm around her shoulders. The second show of affection was in front of Dr. Raphael at his consult. Comforting her in front of people but not when alone seemed contrived and fake, to make an impression that he was an attentive loving husband. When alone (but with a camera crew there) he would yell at her, often manipulate her/guilt her by saying" You don't love me", "You betrayed me" when she was being honest about finally realizing, after 12 years of denial, that she was not legally married.

He often ignores her staring off into space when she tried to talk to him honestly about her feelings. ..actually anytime that I recall in the film. I will watch it a second time to post the good I did view; his behaviors made such an impression on me, everything else seemed to fade into the background this viewing.

I do realize that possibly Rene being supportive may have not been filmed or ended up on the cutting room floor but his actions clearly shout that it is sorely lacking and everything seems to be all about him and him only. The section where he tries out as a male stripper at a club was almost painful to watch. His wife is there, again, head down, embarrassed and fighting back tears while she watched Rene bump and grind, dancing seductively for the male owner. This try-out was in front of tall, buff genetic males and shows a brief shot of the owner watching somewhat incredulously at Rene's performance. But Rene, ever the macho guy, doesn't seem to notice or care that he shouldn't have attempted this. He didn't strip completely, just down to his boxer briefs with a packer too large for his small stature. The owner stated to Rene that he would confuse the women, which was an honest assessment and just. He told Rene that he was looking for tall muscular men with lower fat content. I don't think the owner was out of line and the fact that he gave Rene an audition, was admirable. He even complimented Rene for attempting this. His wife hit the nail on the head when she spoke to the interviewer for the program staying he was basically doing these things to prove what a big man he was, though paraphrasing again, and attributed this behavior to being born female and having to grow up fighting the way he did.

When he's passionately, and loudly, expressing to his sister, his mother and his very elderly grandmother, what it's been like for him, (click here to be taken to the page with the movie trailer of this sequence with sound) This sequence brought out sympathy from me for Rene. You really feel for the guy even though many of his actions are off putting. He is clearly in emotional pain in the film.

For the reader not too familiar with Transmen/FTM's, not all of us live agonized or anger filled lives longing to be whole and not all are hyper macho and feel they have to prove their masculinity to this degree. Many do very well through life and have little or no anger, anger outburst or times when life seems unbearable and simply blend into the world around them as a man going about his life taking care of his family, going to work or maintaining a straight or gay relationship. The panel discussion after the film does highlight this, with one panel member being the ever popular. level headed Jameson Green, who was articulate and educational.

The film does not document how Rene is doing emotionally post-op (hyst, vag closure, metoidioplasty, scrotoplasty & urethraplsty) or if his marriage lasted. One can only hope his demons have now been exorcized and he has found peace. Rene is a good guy with good intentions but his demons really were getting in the way of his emotional progress. The physical progress was on track and above average.

Addendum: A man wrote in an let me know that there was a blurb on 'Extra' stating that they are separated.

I recommend this film highly and it's a must see for any man in transition, no matter what stage. As stated above, I will watch this again Friday, May 21 and post the positive aspects of the film on this page.

What impression uneducated viewers will come away about Transmen as a whole with due to Rene's behavior: xx

If you don't like my assessment of this film, I am just one man but I plan to watch it again so I can post a second review.

Hey Nick, the update I saw on Rene and his wife is that they are separated. I taped 2 blurbs off Extra entertainment news. I think they ran spots all week when Rene's story first ran on Showtime. Unfortunately, they said "one woman's quest to become a man." Isn't that just great.

I didn't think it was as great as you. Rene wasn't the best guy to have on there, but, the kind of guy I'd like to see wouldn't probably be on there anyway. I could understand his angst, even though he didn't handle things that great at times. I didn't think he was abusive toward his wife. I also didn't think she was that supportive. The worst part was starting out like some Springer episode - I didn't understand how or why his church heard anything about him. It felt like it started along the way. It seemed like his wife
only had problems questioning the relationship after all the exposure, which, could be because she couldn't handle what people thought of her now that they were judging her too. That being said, I did empathize with her on the whole nothing about his transition and being so open about his status all at once. I do think there was good things about the show, I'm just way picky and a minority among most transmen anyway.

I liked the panel afterward better than the show. I wish there was a statement about transsexual vs. trangender, that confuses a lot of people. I can't figure out what that docs agenda is. I'm glad he did these shows and thought he was okay as far as docs go, but what about which bathroom?

I liked the Oprah show better because how can you dispute the evidence of a five year old that not only tucks, but wants it to fall off, and a suicidal six year old.

My reply to Dr. D.P.

I completely understand your point of view. And thank you for letting me know the status of their relationship. I am not surprised and I have a feeling she is dating Joey now.

Perhaps I should preface my take of his actions and his actions towards his wife with how I used to act before I started my transition. I was just like him and I treated women badly, placing my needs far above theirs, macho to the point I would not let a woman drive when I was in a car with her to not wanting to sleep on sheets with flowers on them because it threatened my
masculinity. I was warned by the first psychiatrist I saw to begin my transition, after he got the results from the 8 hours of psych testing, that I was a chauvinist and I had better change my opinion of women or one day I would be facing a sexual discrimination suit, as I was managing a business at the time. I recognized so many of my past behaviors in him. Thankfully, my transition and maturity stopped that nonsense.

The most profound thing the Trangendered man stated, that truly applied to me, was that I was emotionally stunted because I didn't want to grow to be a woman so I stopped growing emotionally at about age 18. I recall being about 28 filling out a job app when they could ask your age and I started to write 18. It was a wake up but not enough to kick start my emotional growth. That occurred when I started testosterone and that calming effect that was spoken happened. I did have moments when I would regress, when stressed but I have done nothing but grow emotionally since. My mental age and maturity finally matches my chronological age.

Now for Wona and my take on her. As for her lack of support, I saw it as she was in denial for a very long time until the church shook her into reality and she finally realized whom she had 'married'. She never experienced the thoughts most women do when
starting out dating a transman because most are honest right up front. Rene's deception encouraged her to place her head in the sand because of how terribly he deceived her not to mention her very young age when he started the lies. By then she was in love or as in love as a 16 year old can be and from then on, his word was God and she followed because she knew no other
way. To me, and to many, deception by omission is emotional abuse...it's lying by omission and that kind of thing is an abusive tactic.

He never once comforted her when she became emotional; he turned from her and stared off into space. Deliberately not attending to the emotional needs of a person we pledge our love to is emotional abuse. I feel she tried very hard once the light bulb moment happened for her and she realized just who she was dealing with. From there she was torn and that kind of uncertainty can be devastating to someone who has not really experienced life or love with another person, man or woman. She didn't have the tools to deal with the reality when it hit her.

There were good things about the show which I feel I touched upon; the surgery exam, the surgery, Clay, his wife, ect. I will be adding more positive things once I review the tape again and can look past his behavior the second time around. because I found his behaviors so repelling at times, that is what stuck in my mind over all else. I promise I will be adding a section highlighting the good.

I agree on the doctor in the panel discussion being a bit dense. I will review again and pay more attention.

Yes, the Oprah show was incredible and I will be writing a thorough review on it soon, as well.

My name is (deleted to protect her identity) and I am writing to you for the sake of letting you know that I think your website is great, and I commend and thank you for your work. You must be a very special person to try to help other transgendered people and their families and friends.

I am not a transgendered person, but I recently watched the Showtime movie " Rene's Story" and it created a better understanding (for me) of what transgendered people must have to go through--and the courage it takes to make their physical body match their brain (not sure if I worded this correctly).

After seeing the documentary, I found your website as I was researching the transgender topic. I work with young people (and also their parents) as a public school counselor---and your insights on "Understanding your TS Child" will help me in talking with families if a transgendered youth should ever seek support from me. I was told by the principal of my school that several former students changed their gender identities and wished to be acknowledged as such at school. (I was not working there at the time). He said that some of the students and their parents were completely against it and put pressure on him to punish the students but he chose to support them instead. I was so glad to hear that he handled it this way.

I just wanted to wish you well with everything you are doing to help others, and I also wish you well with your life and all of your endeavors.

I am sure you receive hundreds of emails each week, so thanks for reading this one.

Take care and God bless,

As I state in my review, not all are that angry or treat their spouses in such a manner. Rene's actions have little to do with his transsexuality and most to do with his personal insecurities and preconceived notions about how men should act.

I am very happy that the section about Understanding Your TS Child that I wrote in tandem with my mother, made an impression. And that it will help you when dealing with TS/TG children makes it all worthwhile!

Thank you again for the kind letter. If you ever need to contact me about anything in the future, be it relevant to this issue or not, feel free to do so!